Samuel’s Birth Story

****Disclaimer: This was written as a requirement for my doula training and certification. It is a very personal account of my childbirth experience. It is not graphic but you may feel awkward at times with the candid nature of the article. I hope it gives you some insight into the amazing world of natural child birth, maybe it will even inspire you to experience it for yourself.****

It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving, 2007. My family had just left town. With the house quiet my husband and I decided to stay home from church and rest together. We watched silly movies on TV and I napped on and off all day. My due date was just five days away, but I felt remarkably fresh. My husband hung the Christmas lights on the house, we ate a bite of dinner, I had a girlfriend polish my toes and then we headed for bed early. At one 1:00am I awoke suddenly thinking I was wetting the bed. In my fogginess I tried to stop but couldn’t, then it dawned on me, my water had broken. After cleaning myself and our bed I decided to go back to sleep. My husband eagerly and anxiously whizzed through our Bradley Book and got out the stop watch. He was puzzled to see me get back in bed. He said, “What are you doing?” I responded, “Getting some sleep while I still can.” Then all of our Bradley training rushed back to him… “this is natural and normal, let’s behave that way, no fussing and no worrying…just being…” and we both relaxed and settled back in.

It was about twenty minutes later that I felt my first contraction. The first three or four came steadily but slowly at first, and then I really started to notice their increasing intensity and frequency. Not long after my labor began the discomfort from the contractions moved from my belly to my back. Jason quietly timed each contraction and would rub my back to help me through. We’d chat quietly as we waited for the next contraction. At 4:30am I suggested we meet our midwife at the hospital which was 30 miles away. I wished to stay home longer but I feared for the morning commute traffic that would be out in the next two hours. My contractions were strong and about three minutes apart, lasting about forty-five seconds to a minute, but I was still surprisingly “chipper” between them. I found this very encouraging and very rewarding, almost like I was getting the break I deserved for all my hard work. I knew a natural delivery could be done…I was doing it!

We drove to the hospital, my husband talking on the phone with my father, about FOOTBALL of all things, and I labored the entire way, laughing when I could about our lightheartedness and pleased that he was so calm and so obviously capable. When we arrived at the hospital I was still in fairly good spirits, but becoming more focused. We checked in and began the walk to the L&D floor, the aid would pause as I would stop and cling to Jason for contractions, then we’d walk some more. She asked, “Has your water broken?” and was shocked that it had and suddenly she took us very seriously. That amused me because I knew what I was doing was uncommon, and that motivated me. Upon settling into our birthing room the nurse checked me and I was dilated to 5. They were amazed at how well I was handling the labor. My long time friend, and aspiring doula, met us at the hospital so she could observe my delivery for the purposes of getting her certification. She was also surprised at how calm and collected we were considering the progress of my labor. It was about six am. We labored quietly together, knowing that with every contraction we were one contraction closer to meeting our son.

After 7am it was all work for everyone; longer contractions, closer together, shorter breaks but making good progress. I labored on a ball, on my hands and knees, hanging on Jason, lying on my side and in the tub. It was a lot to bear but I was doing it, Jason was encouraging me, hydrating me, massaging me and rocking with me. He was wonderful; leading me through the process, all I had to do was get through each contraction. That was my only job. Between 9:30 and 10am the nurses checked me again and I was dilated to 9 and they were hopeful that the baby would be here soon. I didn’t care about their estimations, I just knew he was coming and I had work left to do. In the last few hours my labor was intense. My back felt like it might break. The contractions in my abdomen were not even noticeable. The labor was entirely in my low back. I just kept telling myself to relax my face, hands and feet and when I did this the contractions became bearable. I also kept reminding myself that I had to keep my mind in check. I couldn’t give way to the thought that this was too hard, it hurt too much, or that I couldn’t do this. For me, the only thing I could think about was breathing, and letting my body do this very normal and perfect thing. My friend, the aspiring doula, read me the notes the nurse left on the computer screen and it was a great encouragement to me. It read, “Patient has incredible pain management ability and has great labor support”. I knew I was succeeding and it wouldn’t be long. Finally, the urge to push overcame me, it was overwhelming. The midwife checked me and gave me the go ahead to push. I stood at the edge of the bed with my hubby behind me and I pushed. Later I was disappointed to learn the midwife had cleared a cervical “lip” out of the way which took me from “9.5” to 10.

I began pushing at noon. I was surprised when my pushing efforts did not produce a baby very quickly. By now my mother in law, sister in law and another friend had all arrived, fully expecting that the baby had been born based on the good and fast progress I had made in my labor. They were all standing quietly in the corner watching Jason and I work. I would open my eyes from time to time and see them, and I remember feeling so groggy and foggy that I thought to myself, “I feel like I’m on drugs.” My mind and body were so keyed into the task at hand that anything outside of that seemed unreal and distant. I was amazed at how effectively I could relax between pushes; it almost didn’t seem possible to feel that rested (even if for just a few seconds) amidst that much pain.

After about an hour and half of pushing in several different positions the midwife began to suspect that the umbilical cord was wrapped around my son preventing his delivery. She consulted the doctor on call from the midwifery practice and he suggested I stop pushing as it appeared my cervix was beginning to swell (it became obvious that the cervical lip she had “cleared” did not stay that way). They placed a fetal heart monitor on his scalp and after a pause in pushing we continued again. Samuel, my son, never descended far enough to use any instruments to assist in his delivery (he never made it past -2 station). After another hour of pushing and the rapid decline of his heart rate (in the low 70’s) and slow recovery of his heart rate after each contraction (after pushing, ceasing pushing for the two subsequent contractions giving his heart rate a chance to pick up) the midwife felt it advisable to consult the doctor again. He explained that Samuel’s heart rate had been too low for too long and that it was time to take him by c-section. I was devastated and asked if there was anything else that I could do. He and the midwife said they had done everything they could, the safest thing for him was to be delivered immediately. I was quickly taken to the operating room and Samuel was delivered within three minutes or so. The midwife stayed by my side through the operation and assured me that I had done a great job and that the c-section, while not ideal or desirable, was entirely necessary. Once he was delivered the doctor we discovered that he was posterior (explains the enormous amount of back labor!) and asynclitic (ear to shoulder).

Those issues in combination with a seriously rotated pelvis (learned after my delivery based on x-rays taken by my chiropractor) made it practically impossible to have a vaginal delivery. I am presently and regularly seeing a chiropractor to have my pelvis restored to a more optimal position. For future deliveries I have also found a chiropractor who specializes in the Webster technique which is designed to help women 30+ weeks pregnant prepare for natural childbirth through the strengthening the uterine ligaments and properly aligning the pelvis for delivery.

The days following the c-section were hard. I was in pain, aside from the wonderful arrival of my sweet son, I was disappointed in the final outcome of my birth experience. I struggled with my emotions and with nursing. Samuel suffered cervical subluxations (bones out of alignment in his neck) which prevented him from nursing on my right side. We took him to our chiropractor when he was five days old and that corrected the problem immediately. He became a great full time nurser and I did not wean him until he was sixteen months old. While the delivery portion of my story is so far from what I wanted and even farther from what I expected, I am so delighted by the memory of my labor process. It was a precious time with my husband and an incredible testament to the design of the female body and our capacity to give life.

I continue to marvel at my son, even more so now than on the day he was born. My husband and I hope to have our ideal Bradley Birth one day. We have struggled to conceive a second child despite our efforts over the past thirty-six months, and we are now seeking the aid of an infertility doctor who is hopeful that with some very modest interventions we will become pregnant in the next few months. She suspects that the c-section has played, at least, a minor role in our struggles so far with conceiving. However, until that day comes for me I hope to help other women have the birth experience of their dreams and also to encourage them to try again if they don’t.

Old Dreams and A Better Purpose

My husband and I were traveling earlier this summer with our son, Samuel. We were in the busiest terminal at Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix weaving around the roped off maze trying to make our way to the TSA security checkpoint. Packed down with everything, we finally arrived at the front of the line greeted by a rather imposing looking TSA agent. Except for the sippy cup filled with more than 3.4 oz of milk I had no reason to fear him, but he made me nervous, like surely he would suspect me of….something. I handed him my tickets and identification and waited. He looked at me, studied my license, carefully looked at me again, at the ticket and my license again and then he smiled with approval. I was deemed safe. Whew! Then this big, intimidating TSA agent (seriously, I’m really not being sarcastic) looked at the ticket behind mine, our three and half year old son’s ticket, and then he did something I NEVER expected. He looked at Samuel and said “Can you tell me your name?” Now my brain works FAST so in an instant, in less than a second my mind raced with these thoughts:

“What if he doesn’t answer? What if he doesn’t remember his name? What if, when it matters most he says someone else’s name??? What if he says his best friend’s name, Alyssa!!! People would think I was a horrible mother to name my son ALYSSA!!! Oh my gosh kid, say your name!!! Samuel. Samuel. It’s Samuel. I know I call you a dozen or more, silly, ridiculous nicknames that aren’t really even considered words by the general population, but your name is Samuel, just say “Samuel”. This is TSA! TSA!! They can screw up our whole trip with a snafu like this!!! You can do it. Please do it.”

And just like that my sweet boy, hands behind his back clutching onto his Lightning McQueen pull suitcase, looked up and said softly and clearly, “Sam-e-al”. My heart swelled. He knew his name. I mean, I know he knows his name but…..he KNOWS his name!!! Maybe it’s a mom thing but I was completely delighted and so very proud. The man smiled. He had also deemed Samuel safe. The world slept easy that night.

It’s such a silly thing, the entire experience. Of course Samuel knew his name. We’ve taught him to be friendly with people. With us by his side he would certainly answer even a stranger’s question. He’s intelligent, even though he still forgets the number four when counting, but seriously, all he had to do was say his own name. I suppose it really was a minor accomplishment but for some reason that moment stayed with me all day. I just couldn’t help but be amazed. He was growing and he knows who he is. He understood his identity.

The more I thought about Samuel and the TSA officer the more I began to realize the gravity of my job, being his career mom. And then I remembered. A nagging old hope that comes back when I’m loading the dishwasher, putting away the laundry, cooking a meal, wiping a bottom, paying too many bills with too few dollars. This thing that encroaches on my mind and my emotion isn’t real, but I know what it is. It’s this old idea…it isn’t really even me, at least not all of me. But it’s still there.

I have always been an ambitious person, driven by being the best at what I do, craving success, winning the gold stars, taking on the biggest challenges and overcoming the odds. Honestly, really honestly, I like the lime light and if my ego got its way, that’s where I’d be. From an early age I wanted to be the President. It actually began as being the speech writer for the President, then it occurred to me, why WRITE the speeches when I could GIVE the speeches. I was eight when I had this epiphany. From that point on I began to stage all of my choices around that goal and some of the markers along the way included, but not limited to, studying international relations and serving as the Ambassador to Israel. My interests were not only abroad but also domestic, so naturally I wanted to study Constitutional Law and maybe even work toward retiring as a Supreme Court Justice. “Yes” I said to myself, “good idea, Rachael. Get set, Go!” So off I went, diplomat, President, Supreme Court Justice…you’re right, I had a self-esteem issue growing up. Nobody loved me and nobody told me I could be and do whatever I wanted. NOT!!!! Clearly I suffered from TOO much love and encouragement. Oh my goodness, I’m exhausted at reading that list!

I have discovered that our external influences, talents, goals, passions and egotistical fantasies all get jumbled together and in our youth we set out on a path that may or may not actually be the thing that brings about the greatest contentment and joy. Even when we realize that we’ve done this and we adjust our course accordingly the impression has been made and it is lasting. That jumbled remnant from my past is distracting. It undermines my purpose; with time I have learned that my purpose is not always consistent with my goals, and usually my fantasies are even farther from my purpose. For me the cost of doing even one of those things on my list, let alone all three, is too high.

The TSA agent and Samuel reminded me of the distinctions between purpose, pride and fantasy. I knew in the moment that Samuel spoke his name that I was doing so much more than just teaching him to answer silly questions asked by airport security guys, but I was shaping his whole future by building into him his identity and setting the stage for his purpose. Teaching him his name was only the beginning of my job. I have a far greater impact on the world by simply investing in one little life with all of my energy. The President of the United States can never improve and prosper the populace to the extent that I can develop and equip Samuel for prosperity. Congress can never legislate anything that will build value into people’s lives like I can instill into Samuel’s. Nine Justices will never uphold the Supreme Law of the land to the degree I will uphold and uplift my own son. This is absolutely heartbreaking to me, but our government’s best efforts will fail us eventually. My efforts there would be ill-spent and futile. While I realize my efforts on the home front will sometimes be unsuccessful, Samuel will be forever enriched by the presence of two parents in his life that are devoted to each other and to him. Being Samuel’s career mommy, and Jason’s career wife are a fundamental element of my purpose.

I realize that not every little girl dreams about becoming President, but every little girl dreams. If you’re that little girl all grown up, raising little people, doing the mundane tasks, the dirty work, speaking “mommy talk” all day don’t be discouraged by the remnant of a jumbled dream or even the nagging of a legitimate goal. You’re on purpose for now. Do this job well. Keep your mind sharp and your talents fresh, but be patient. What you’re doing is important. Maybe the world doesn’t see it that way but your kids will, if not now, later. You are perfecting the science of creating, sustaining and developing a life. That has far-reaching, generational impacts on the world. Me and you, we’re career mommies. Now, that’s a good idea! Get set, Go!

My dad’s book is finally available! Read here about how to get a copy!!

My dad’s book, “A Man Called Nicholas”, is finally available for purchase after a vaiety of hang-ups and delays with the printer in China. I have sent you a personal message from my dad. In it you can learn how to order the book for your family and the ones you love. My family has enjoyed this book for years and we hope that yours will too! Have a wonderful weekend and many blessings to you as we enter into this holiday season!!
Rachael (Foster) Kish

A note to you from the author, Roger Foster

It has been a long time coming but the book many of you previewed for me last fall is now in print and we are finally ready to begin selling them. I began to wonder if it would ever happen. My wife, Teena, kept on pushing me (Whoops! I meant to say “encouraging me”), and things are starting to happen. I hope that you will be part of the next important step, sharing it with the ones you love.

How you can buy “A MAN CALLED NICHOLAS”
Send an email to AManCalledNicholas@gmail.com

The book cost is $18.97 + 6% sales tax. Total is $20.11
Shipping rate for:
Media Mail: $3.00 per book (allow up to two weeks for delivery)
Flat Rate: $4.90 for up to 5 books (allow three days for delivery)
*We apologize that we are unable to offer online ordering through our website, we hope to have this issue resolved very soon.

Special Discount!! If you participated in our online preview last fall, JUST SAY SO! Your book cost is:

Discounted book cost is $14.23 + 6% sales tax. Total is $15.08
*Shipping rates are as described above.

When you contact us let us know how many books you want and give us the shipping address(s) where you want them to go. We will promptly send you an order confirmation and payment information that can expedite your purchase.

Exciting news!
The book is now being picked up by stores in New England and we are expanding that part of our market. We hope that you will place your order for your books before our small first print run is exhausted. Just email us at AManCalledNicholas@gmail.com.

Motivation, celebration and special thanks!
Some of you may know my daughter Rachael. When she got her realtor’s license I began to pester her every week or so asking, “Did you sell a house yet?” One day she did not answer; she simply asked in return, “Did you publish a book yet?” The gauntlet had been thrown down and I was forced to respond. So here it is Rachael. My first book… in publication… for sale!!! Wow.
If you saw and enjoyed the online preview then I think that you will love the printed version with the amazing layout done by Corey Thompson and the cover design and finish work by Gabriel Oberkirch. Of course the real beauty at the core of this book unfolds page by page in the powerful and evocative illustrations created by Allan Youl. I am grateful to them all.
Thanks again to all of you who have been so encouraging through this process. I am a better man having had people like you in my life.

Be sure to email AManCalledNicholas@gmail.com with your order!

Roger Foster

It’s time to sign on the dotted line……

It’s been too long since my fingers have typed frenzily on my blog, but my brain has been in overdrive with an idea. My idea is big, but must begin with one small step, so right now I am simply looking for a show of support from people who are dissatisfied with the handling of our border enforcement. If you are even the least bit aggravated by our government’s “we won’t do anything, and neither will you, Arizona!” approach then simply sign your name in the comments section of my blog. I understand that it is risky to make a public statement about your political views but I would encourage you to do it anyway. Americans have to take ownership of this issue, as our government has not, and we cannot claim ownership unless we are willing to write our names on the line. We are privileged to call ourselves Americans because our founding fathers were willing to sign their names when it mattered most. The issue of border enforcement and legal immigration matters….decide that is matters to you and sign. Send this note to the ones you know and have them stand with you by encouraging them to sign also, then keep reading my blog about how you can help support Americans and American hopefuls.

SB 1070. Compassion in a nutshell…..

I just read the controversial SB 1070. It’s only seventeen pages long, actually sixteen not including the “title” page. Read it here http://www.azleg.gov/legtext/49leg/2r/bills/sb1070s.pdf for yourself and let me know what you think….and if you’re a Lib….don’t even talk to me unless you have actually read this thing.

The liberal left has accused Arizonans of being hateful (even comparing us to Nazi Germany) toward the Latino community because of our latest law, SB 1070.

Whatever.

The Lefties toss around the the phrase “racial profiling”, getting the media mad, the Phoenix Suns all frisky (as evidenced tonight by “Los Suns” stitched across their jersey shirts), and has Reverend Al Sharpton shout’n…again, but with the facts not in support of their toxic talk. This law is anything but hateful. The first page, of sixteen pages, is dedicated to the process by which the state, or any agency, can determine the immigration status of a person….just the first page, that’s it. It is not some mutli-point thesis on how to seek out and persecute all Latino peoples in Arizona. SB 1070 is clear in its objectives and very fair in practice. The law outlines, first, who is able to determine the legal status of an individual and, second, under what circumstances that authority can call an individuals’ legal status into question. The law outlines it this way: lawful contact must be made with the person of interest, a reasonable suspicion must exist, and when practicable a reasonable attempt can be made to determine the persons immigration status….and ALL must be done in accordance with a Federal law that is ALREADY on the books (8 US Code Section 1373). Arizona’s law is not “inventing the wheel” here, our law simply makes that wheel turn.

SB 1070 not only protects Americans from our border vulnerabilities (drug and child sex trade, to name a few), it protects those who wish to live in the US from villainous creatures like “coyotes” who do not smuggle people to America out of their political altruism but from greed. When we stop human smuggling we save lives and preserve the dreams of those who want to call America home.

This law goes one step further in protecting those who are here legally (i.e. people of Hispanic origins), but may suffer at the hands of those who would make complaints based on their own prejudices rather than from the facts. The law allows for “haters” to be fined should they bring erroneous charges against an individual or company.

The interesting thing about this law, and what we do not hear on the news, is who the bill mainly, or at least equally, targets: Americans who break the law by employing and harboring those who are here illegally. Americans who hire immigrants under the table are not kind hearted people, they are cheaters. These Americans enslave those who dream of living here, by capitalizing on their desperation and willingness to work for less just so they can have a slice of the life their “masters” get to live. If the Left will equate me to Hitler for my immigration stance, then I will not hesitate to compare them to slave holders from our not so distant past, because as long as Lefties refuse to make everybody play by the rules (Americans and American-hopefuls alike) then they continue to perpetuate and condone the “servitude” of the immigrant class. As long as we do nothing to prevent people from coming here illegally, and do not harshly address the companies who hire illegal aliens at a fraction of the cost, then we are in violation of the very labor standards we, Lefties included, so vehemently impress upon countries like China. That sounds like hypocrisy to me….oh wait, it is! Requiring that people be here legally only gives the immigrant a better life in the long run. Rather than living in secret as second class humans, these “aliens” become citizens, bestowed with every right and privilege we enjoy and are protected from the ones who would have exploited them as anything else.

The State of Arizona is doing boldly and lawfully what the Federal government is failing to do, protecting our borders, bust most importantly protecting people, all people.

Hey Libs, drink some of your almighty “compassion-ade”, and decide that SB 1070 is the compassionate thing. Oh……..and stop comparing me to Hitler, it’s simply not true.

If I disagree with gay marriage I’m a “homophobic idiot”…according to Larry.

In a FaceBook post I saw this conversation about gay marriage unfold and read this man’s blog….check it out at http://dagblog.com/politics/larry-vs-homophobic-idiots-maine-legalizes-gay-marrige-658 and read my response.

Larry, it is fascinating to me that you criticize me for my alleged inability to both reason with and show compassion to those who differ/disagree with me, while you show clear disdain for me when I disagree with you. You have attacked both my character and my intelligence with no cause. I made a comment about your “style” of writing and you have countered with malice. If you wish to object to my writing “style” please feel free to check out my blog at www.raspberrymochalatte.wordpress.com. I am certain that we would have fun with an occasional banter.

As far as your blog is concerned, the burden of responsibility lies with you to craft an argument that is both intelligent, comprehensible, and most importantly, respectful enough to engage the readers, especially the readers who disagree with you. You have done a fine job of “preaching to the choir”, the “choir” being the ones who already agree with your view, but you have not excelled at making a compelling argument in an effort to win over those who oppose you.

My ability to comprehend your blog does transcend the “vulgarity” of your argument, however, typically I am unwilling to engage someone when the basis of the argument is merely to take cheap shots, rather than actually debating the merits of the issue. In your case I have made an exception.

In regards to your “The Tab A, Slot B Argument: As in it doesn’t happen in nature?”, you have equated and justified a homosexual lifestyle to the impulsive behaviors of animals. I am not certain that homosexuals would make this argument on their own behalf. It is true that homosexual animal sex, and many other earthly anomalies, occur but I would not argue that they are all suited to be duplicated in my own life. Homosexuals are engaging in that lifestyle for reasons that are far superior to the rationale behind why a deer chooses to mate with another deer of the same sex. A homosexuals’ reasons are vast and varied, but ultimately it comes down to their personal preference and choice. I am a heterosexual woman, who chooses to be in a mamonogamous and married relationship with a man whom I deeply love and desire. Homosexuals and heterosexuals make choices and their choices have nothing to do with what animals do in the wild.

You have asserted that heterosexuals like myself say (“in a southern twang”, of course!) that homosexuals have nothing to contribute to society. The LGBT crowd has demonized people like me by propagating the extreme “anti-gay” rhetoric which does not adequately represent my view and the views of many others. I do believe that homosexuals, like the lesbian geese you compared them to, have much to offer that benefits society. Like any other person, because homosexuals are people-not just walking sexual orientations, they are talented, enterprising, intelligent and well intentioned, good people. I have known many and called them friends….and I am a pastors’ kid.

Now for your, “The Bible says so!” a.k.a. The My God is Bigger Than Your God Argument”, you have again asserted that the faith based bunch supports and approves of the Inquisition. I disagree. I do not, nor does anyone I know, support the brutality of any person in the name of our God. You are correct that the United States is not a theocracy, you are also correct that it has not been a success in the middle east. The fact is, this country was founded on the principles of christian faith. It is those very principles that give the LGBT crowd (and the anti-birth control and prohibition crowds) the opportunity to fight for the things they believe in, even when in conflict with our original values. It is my faith that gives homosexuals both the freedom to choose to live that life and also the grace to stop living that life if they so choose, all while supporting a government that protects the homosexuals right to choose that life. I do not advocate a theocracy, like in the Middle East, because a homosexual lifestyle would be a death sentence….and after all, that isn’t very compassionate.

As far as my “religion” is concerned I do not expect that the legalization of gay marriage will be it its undoing. I do not oppose the legalization of homosexual marriage because it threatens my faith…..I oppose gay marriage because it conflicts with my understanding of marriage. This issue, like many others, cannot be reconciled with the principles of my faith. I love homosexual people. I want them to have success, I want them to prosper, I believe that they are loved and valued by my God in the same way a heterosexual person is. God has given us the opportunity to make choices, regardless of what he hopes we will choose. Some choices are better than others. I believe that the homosexual lifestyle is not the best choice. You are free to disagree with me. Like you, I will be diligent in my efforts to protect the things I value most.

The vulgar, “It will threaten the sanctity of marriage” a.k.a. The Sanctimonious F*ck-hole Argument” portion of your article suggests again that heterosexual couples are predestined to destroy the sanctity of marriage all by themselves, exempting the homosexual persons from any relational failures. Why do you believe that homosexuals are the only people capable of having a mainting a wholesome and healthy relationships? I have known many homosexuals who go from relationship to relationship looking for the perfect person and when he or she cannot be found they move on, yet again.The truth is people are the the greatest flaw and reason for the destruction of marriage, heterosexual or otherwise. I am equally saddened by to those who enter into a marriage covenant and debase it by not honoring that covenant, this includes Brittany Spears, Larry King, Elizabeth Taylor, Jesse James and Tiger Woods.

So, here is to compassion and logic. Let’s talk again.

Thinking Small and Inside the Box….

I have always been a PoliSci junkie. From the age of eight I have loved politics. I studied it, argued it, wrote about it, read about it, lived it…..I couldn’t get enough. I started this blog last fall because I wanted to get my PoliSci fix…. I wanted to feel my heart race as the words flooded the screen, I wanted to pick a fight with those who don’t agree with me, I wanted to say the things that others were thinking, or not thinking in many cases, and spark a dialogue. I hoped that people would take a second look at the state of our union and get mad with me….decide that something had to change. Since the fall my life got busy…it got bogged down…I lost my fire and my fight so, discouraged, I stopped. The politics of late have so infuriated me I have found myself without words…that doesn’t happen often….I have felt like I have a lions roar in my chest and only a mouses squeak for a voice. What can I do? What change could I make? We have fallen so far from where I know we should be…what can really be done now?

I have been searching for ways to answer these questions. I recently began a Bible study with a group of my great girlfriends and some of those questions are beginning to be answered. I am beginning to realize that “something” does need to happen and whatever that “something” is, is vital to the prosperity of this land that I so deeply love. You see, all we’ve heard about is “change”….change is good but it is not the solution. Alcoholics and addicts can change behaviors and attitudes, but they will always to drawn to their vices. Change simply masks the problem by alleviating a symptom.

Change is insufficient. Our politics will change when our people are transformed. Transformation answers my questions and it is essential.

I cannot change Washington DC with my blog, with my money, or even now it seems with my votes….ironically, I must think smaller than that. I must think inside the box, my box. I have discovered that my greatest priority must be my husband and then my son. They are in my box. It is my treasure box. My dream has always been to have a political career, my passion was and is being a wife and mother. My dream and my passion, for now, cannot be reconciled. I cannot and will not do both. My greatest capacity to affect change and exert my influence is within my own family. It’s small. It’s simple. It’s key.

This nation’s transformation must first occur in our own houses before it will occur the White House. When we began teaching our kids to “reach for the stars”, “dream big”, “think outside the box” we inadvertently taught them to look away from the home. Home has become “base camp” where we rest until we leave it to go and do more important things like getting a good job, doing cool stuff, changing our world. In doing this we disregard our greatest tool for “change”….our families. Those children have become wives who have forgotten the art of capturing their husband’s heart… and husbands who fail to woo their wives they way they once did. They have become parents who spend three hours a day between dinner time and bed time, and on the weekends, attempting to raise their children. It is frightening to me that the greatest people in our lives have simply become our “routine” rather than our greatest investment and most precious commodity.

The face of our government is in many ways an image of who we are. Speaking generally, we have spent a lot of time being motivated by our own greed, our personal ambition, and living up to perceived “social norms” and “pressures”. This sounds and awful lot like what we have accused our politicians of doing…..making poor choices on our behalf to advance their own ambitions, cheating in a variety of ways to satisfy their own lust and greed, and now with the latest Health Care reform, doing the “socially responsible” thing by requiring all people to have health insurance. It is fascinating that the government will require me to take steps to insure my own health and well being when they fail to address their own “terminal” illnesses which permeate the entire political process. Another example of how we work tirelessly to fix the ails of the world while neglecting our own households. We wanted change, we NEEDED change. We got change. Our law makers change laws, add laws, change taxes, add taxes and yet we simply get more of the same dysfunction. If “change” doesn’t “change” much then how do we …er…”change”?

Transformation. Simply put, our attitudes and behaviors are a by-product of who we actually are. We can fake it for a while but we will turn to our old tricks when the heat is on, when the pressure is more than we can take, when we act impulsively, and when we speak before we think. In these moments we are revealed. Transformation occurs when we submit our lives to Christ. Yes, I said it. Christ is my creator. Christ is your creator. We have an innate desire to know him. Often, we try to satisfy this longing with any number of things….greed, pride, selfish ambition…..just a few of the things that we see our very own government, or its agents, suffering from. In submitting my own life to Christ I have found that Christ desires to make me more like himself. In becoming more and more like Christ I am becoming transformed. I don’t need to worry about “changing”, because of Christ I am better than I was. As I continue to permit Christ to work in my life he will make me better and better. He can do that for you too. He can do that for our families. When families stop behaving like little corporations and begin serving one another our communities will take on a new image. Our government officials will resemble the people in our homes, people that we trust and respect, people that we want to emulate, people who are not just behaving better because it gets more votes….but people who ARE better.

Real change, transformation, happens at our core. The “core” of any society is family. This is our ground zero.

My focus is small, my box is little, but I have much to do. I am committed to those who are sitting at my table. I will serve God in my home first. I will serve my husband with a joyful heart because I respect and love the man that he is and I trust God for the role that he plays in my life. I will cherish and raise my children because they have been entrusted to me by a God that loves them even more than I do. Therefore, my responsibility to them is great. Serving my family will be more than a “routine”, it has become my mission, my purpose. The “change” this nation needs will begin with me and it will begin in my home.

The “powers that be” in Washington once sat as small children at someone else’s dining room table. The “powers to be” are sitting at your dining room table right now. I implore you to allow Christ to begin a transformation in your own home. The state of our union is created by the state of our homes. “Do not conform any longer tho the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). We have striven for so much and have gotten less and less. It is my fervent hope that you as husbands and wives, and together as parents, would narrow your focus, draw boundaries around the things you treasure most, and with the help of Christ, invest all that you have in just those things. Families who commit to transforming their own hearts and minds will be the “change” we need and it will be explosive.

Is the love affair over?

Republicans are being elected only 10 months after President Obama takes office. Huh… What ever could this mean? I find it telling that so short a time after the President’s election we see a change of heart among the populace. President Obama’s approval is down, his key constituents are not showing up at the polls, and he is unable to get his own boys and girls on the Hill to pass Health Care legislation. It seems when the glam of having elected a minority President, albeit monumental, has worn off, all we are left with is a guy who cannot execute. Sadly, and I mean that, Obama had, and largely still has, all the resources a President could want at his disposal; the love and affection of the majority of American people, a majority in the House and the Senate, and according to the liberals, a nation which was ripe for change. So this begs the question, why all the resistance? Why not more change? Why is there no unity among the democrats?
This romance has a lot of heat but lacks a spark!

I believe Obama took full advantage of the “love affair” he was experiencing at the onset of his presidency by rushing his agenda, from the bailout to healthcare reform, through Congress. Admittedly, I cannot blame him for doing this, any good politician would… but he did more. He not only capitalized on the good favor shown him but he and the media overwhelmed us with gravity of our circumstance, distracting us from legislation that has gone unexamined by most, essentially veiling his aggressive policies until they become law. For example, it is fascinating that while we are debating the need for health care reform the Obama government and the media are making the swine flu issue a matter of life or death. While some, tragically, have died as a result of the virus, most are living. The implications of turning the “mole hill” of an issue such as swine flu into a “mountain” is this, American lives are in constant peril from infection and disease and if we, the Government, do not intervene on your behalf then who will? This kind of “savior” mentality is sickening. While I am certain that Obama and his administration are not to blame for the existence of the virus, he certainly has used it to his advantage. Through fear, he has used our tumultuous current events as a means of mobilizing people in the direction he wishes for us to go in hopes accomplishing his ends. Americans do not easily give their hearts away to politicians, as in the case with Obama, and when we do we expect that circumstance not be used to manipulate our emotions. I speak for many when I say, “Mr. President, just because you may hold our hearts, does not mean we have relinquished our minds.” Setting aside our emotional fondness for the President and strictly considering the year 2009, we can see that the President’s track record leaves his campaign promises unfulfilled. Do you know the one thing that can make any love affair turn cold in a hurry? Manipulation and broken promises.

As evidenced by last evenings elections the American people have said to the President and his party, with fingers crossed behind their backs, “thanks for the dance, I’ll call you later…”. This is the beginning of a long and messy breakup as more elections are on the horizon. I agree that “change” is what we need and change is what we will get when we begin to elect those who will spend less time charging our emotions through media magic and more time deliberating and delivering on the issues that matter most, the state of our economy and our security at home and abroad.

Mr. President, it looks like your date has left the party with another boy!

Let my family be my concern….

Today I am overcome by the mistreatment of Sarah Palin in the news media and by men, and especially WOMEN, all across this nation. My childhood, in many ways shaped by 90′s feminism and activism, makes me revolt against all those who slammed this woman. Now, DO NOT mistake me for a feminist! I mention it to make light of the fact that the liberals in the 90′s were so “FOR” women, women in the work place, women in the medical profession, women in the legal profession, a woman’s right to choose, family planning, women in the military, and women in politics. Well, ta-da…in walks Sarah Palin. Every lib’s dream come true, right?…..a career woman, also raising a larger than average family, with a pregnant teenage daughter….but, oh, she is conservative. All bets are off. Now the “I am woman, hear me roar” crowd has really traditional values as they utter in disapproval of her “choice”, “she has a family, her daughter is pregnant, she is a nursing mother to her handicap son, and she is young and pretty with no executive experience”. Apparently, being governor of the largest state in the Union does not qualify one as having executive experience?! Why are the Dems so threatened by a successful, ambitious, intelligent woman? According to the indoctrination that was attempted on my mind as a child it seems that all of those features would fit nicely into your own “pro-woman” schema of what a female leader should look like.

This brings me to my main point. I am a conservative, Christian, wife and mom. This is WHO I am but that is not ALL I am. I am a patriot, a leader, a thinker, a writer. If I should decide to act on the 90′s indoctrination attempts ( I say “attempts” only because I never succumb to their useless chants, I have value as a woman because that is how I was created by my Creator; my value as a female was not spoken into my life by party slogans….a topic for another day) and run for political office, “break the glass ceiling and become more”, I would be met with resistance because I have a husband and a child. Because in doing so, I selfishly neglect my family to tend to the world at large….you mean, I shouldn’t do that? I should stay at home and raise my family and care for my husband because…..why again? According to you, liberal feminists, I have skills, even skills superior to that of the male gender, you have said. Shouldn’t I be able to do both? Tell me why I cannot make a “choice”, with the full support of my husband and family to be both a wife and mother as well as a leader in the political arena? I don’t understand?

You know liberals, for you it’s not about women’s rights or family values… it’s about what is most advantageous for you. For years women were a critical demographic for you….you realized that we had the force of numbers, we tend to relational and therefore we are influencers, we could add or detract to your following….and you needed our votes! Well, so many girls and women bought into your sales pitch because you made them feel good for a minute. Congrats, you get “slick” points. But now it’s the new millennium. Women have risen, we have become successful, and quite honestly, we no longer need a self-esteem boost from Uncle Sam, so we run for President. Elizabeth Dole runs in the primaries…”but the country is just not ready for a woman yet” you say. Then Hilary Clinton walks in….”yea, that’s a great idea, let’s a vote for her” then she is suddenly upstaged by the African-American man and “ooooo, that’s an even better idea, he’s not a woman but he’s a minority and we can capture the female/minority vote in one with this guy ” so you ditch your own gal. Then there is Sarah Palin and you shred her to bits because she is a conservative. Rather than challenging the merits of her politics you criticize her because she is pretty (like that has any bearing on anything), she is young (certainly a “change” from previous American politics), and because she and her husband are raising a family with ordinary struggles such as raising a handicap child (rather than opting for abortion), and embracing their teenage daughter despite her unplanned pregnancy (again opting to do the harder thing by not aborting him). It was never about who she was and the state of her family affairs. She was advancing, she was making bold and practical changes, she threatened the status quo you have helped to maintain…and cowardly you attacked what she treasures most- her family. It was low and you should do better than that.

So my liberal friends, I tell you this, when Sarah Palin and others like her, maybe even me one day, run for political office with the full support of their families, do not be their conscience. We have not committed some immoral act by tossing our hat in the ring. We, conservative females, are intelligent women, leaders, business owners and great political minds. We pose a threat to your party and we intend to, but this is no excuse for slander and lies. Remember your little chants from campaigns past and show some loyalty to the words you speak.

Some things are never forgotten.

I was sixteen. My family was moving from Goodyear, AZ to Brandon, VT. The trip was long but filled with fun and lots of laughs. We were well into our trip when early one morning after stopping for gas my dad decided it was time for breakfast. A quick survey of the area only offered us two options….McDonalds and Waffle House. We petitioned for McDonald’s but dad wanted Waffle House, so Waffle House it was. I instantly had an attitude about “our” choice, but it was out of my hands.

There were six of us, all relatively “adult” in stature, and only one available booth. This was clearly going to be a cozy breakfast. I was the first to enter the booth, snuggled closely to the short yellow wall that separated me from the grease pit and, of course, the three-day old, crusted over with ketchup and syrup, still soggy in the middle, kitchen towel that lay on my side of that short yellow wall. Fantastic. I very politely pointed with my manicured finger, french of course, at the OSHA violation sitting beside me and I said “can you move that?” as the waitress greets us. My dad sits across from me with a slight smile at the sight of seeing me squirm. Now its time to order. “Coffee?” the waitress asked. In a not so refined moment I look up at her and say “Raspberry Mocha Latte, please”, knowing full well that there was no such option at this dive and not entirely confident that the waitress would even know what that was….again…I was sixteen. Pardon my youthful and snotty moment. The waitress replied, “We don’t have that. Regular or decaf?” My dad kicks me from under the table and glares at me. After she leaves to prepare our coffee, and likely spit in mine, my dad says, “You are such a snob!”. The clever little human that I am quipped back with “I’m not a snob, I just have standards.” From this point on my persona, along with my discriminating tastes, have earned the nick name “Raspberry Mocha Latte”. I, admittedly, take delight in the nickname and I am proud to say that I inherited this quality from my lovely grandmother, Sarah. So, that’s the story on the name….long live all the “Raspberry Mocha Latte’s” of the world and may you always dine far from Waffle House.